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It's true. First we brought you the complete Straight Dope archive. (More or less. See below.) Next we made the archive searchable. Now we present our ultimate achievement--a search engine that actually works! Check it out for yourself. Thanks to Sean Phelan of the Chicago Reader tech staff for making this a work of art.

The following Straight Dope resources are now available online:

(1) Weekly Straight Dope Columns dating back to the mid-1990s, complete with piquant illustrations by the legendary Slug Signorino. We are currently in the process ofupdating the older columns and consolidating them with our archive of classic columns, described below. The past year's worth of columns as they originally appeared in our subscribing newspapers will always be available in publication date order in the browsable index below.

(2) Straight Dope Classics, consisting of virtually everything of significance Cecil has written since the inauguration of the Straight Dope in 1973. This collection is being added to at the rate of one column per day and represents a distillation of 6,000 years of human progress, conveniently divided into 800-word chunks. A sampling of columns is available for browsing below, including a dozen or so from each of Cecil's five books.

(3) Staff Reports (formerly Cecil's Mailbag), consisting of columns written by the Straight Dope Science Advisory Board, Cecil's online auxiliary. The most recent Staff Reports are available below. A browsable listing of all previous Staff Reportsis available by clicking here.

(4) Browsable listings for our Threadspotting (classic SD message board threads) and Weird Earl's (nutty or otherwise interesting stuff we found on the Web) features may be found below.

All items except the Threadspotting and Weird Earl's backlists are available through the search engine above. The Straight Dope Message Board database may be searched by clicking here.

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A sampling of Straight Dope Classics

The Straight Dope (1984)

Why do pigeons bob their heads?
Why do people say "Jesus H. Christ"?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
How many calories are in the average male ejaculation?
If all one billion Chinese jumped at once, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?
Is it true about Catherine the Great and the horse?
Why do wintergreen Life Savers spark when crunched?
Do bathtubs drain counterclockwise in the Northern Hemisphere, clockwise in the southern?
Why does Heinz ketchup say "57 varieties"? I only see one variety
What are the nine Eskimo words for snow?
What are the REAL lyrics to "Louie Louie"?
Why isn't there a Channel One on TV?
Did a French vaudeville star once specialize in trained flatulence?

More of the Straight Dope (1988)

Did dinosaurs have a separate brain in their behinds?
Does Mrs. Mantis bite Mr. Mantis's head off during The Act?
Are turkeys so stupid they will look up in the sky when it rains and drown?
Where did Bullwinkle go to college?
How did they get Mr. Ed to talk?
Why is there a "33" on Rolling Rock beer labels?
Why do clouds of gnats always hover around a fixed point in mid-air?
Where are all the baby pigeons?
If you pour salt on garden slugs, do they shrivel up and scream?
Can you stand eggs on end at the vernal equinox and at no other time?
Is the Great Wall of China the only manmade object you can see from space?
Which freezes faster, hot water or cold water?
Does passionate kissing cause your chewing gum to disintegrate?
Is it true what they say about gerbils?
What does "OK" stand for?
What is a mojo?
Can hair turn white overnight from fright?
How do lava lamps work?

Return of the Straight Dope (1994)

Did astronaut Neil Armstrong muff his historic "one small step" line?
In "Star Trek," what exactly are "star dates"?
Why the weird religious ravings on Dr. Bronner's soap?
Do eelskin wallets demagnetize bank teller cards?
How can they be sure no two snowflakes are alike?
Which will keep you drier, running through the rain or walking?
In "The Flintstones," what was Barney Rubble's job?
What is Don McLean's song "American Pie" all about?
Are aphids born pregnant?
Did Renaldus Columbus discover the clitoris in 1559?
Who gets the most pleasure from sex, the man or the woman?
What's up with vacuum cleaner wounds to the penis?
What's the story with Otzi the gay caveman?

The Straight Dope Tells All (1998)

If aircraft "black boxes" are indestructible, why can't the whole plane be made from the same material?
What was the Leaning Tower of Pisa for?
Did Mussolini use castor oil as an instrument of torture?
Who invented the smiley face?
Does the U.S. government keep alien spaceships at Area 51?
Is it possible to implant a microchip in somebody's brain?
Can some people extinguish streetlamps by means of their bodily emanations?
In Steve Miller's "The Joker," what is "the pompatus of love"?
Is there really such a thing as a pathological liar?
Why do older men have hair growing in their noses and ears?
Did medieval scholars argue over how many angels could dance on the head of a pin?
Is Einstein's brain kept in a bottle in a small-town doctor's office near Kansas City?
How come you never see Class B cigarettes?
If Teflon is nonsticky, how do they get it to stick to the pan?
Was Isaac Newton a virgin?

Triumph of the Straight Dope (1999)

In the song "Hotel California," what does "colitas" mean?
Can a Munchkin be seen committing suicide in The Wizard of Oz?
Does smoking have any health benefits?
What's the meaning of "Ollie, Ollie oxen go free"?
Were hairballs once considered things of beauty?
Will sitting too close to the TV, reading with bad light, etc., ruin your eyes?
Is uranium added to false teeth to give them a natural glow?
When a woman gives birth in westerns, why do they always boil water?
Why do we have wax in our ears? Do roaches ever crawl in there?
What is déjà vu?
Will poppy-seed bagels cause you to fail a drug test?
What are hiccups and why do we get them?
What does "the right to bear arms" really mean?
Is U.S. income tax invalid because Ohio wasn't legally a state when the 16th amendment was ratified?!
Is hemp (nonpharmacological marijuana) the answer to our environmental problems?
Can I declare a "no-flight zone" over my house?

Recent Classic Columns

Why do wet things look darker than dry things?
Why do bubbles stream from fixed spots in glasses of beer or soda pop?
If you lit a match in zero gravity, would it smother in its own smoke?
Did astronaut Neil Armstrong muff his historic "one small step" line?
In "Star Trek," what exactly are "star dates"?
Is there really such a thing as cow tipping?
How much do the animals used for fur coats suffer?
Is AIDS a manmade disease?
Why is home plate in the southwest corner of most major league baseball stadiums?
What is the proper way to style Roman numerals for the 1990s?
What year numbering system was used in the time of Christ?
Why does the U.S. deliver foreign mail when we don't get any money for the stamps?
What do U.S. Postal Service bar codes mean?
Why the weird religious ravings on Dr. Bronner's soap?
Can you pay $35 to get a star named after you?
How can they be sure no two snowflakes are alike?
What are the "fins" on a fountain pen for?
Why are public toilet seats always "U" shaped?
Do laundry balls really work?
How come you never see any B batteries?
Why is there braille on drive-up teller machines?
Whatever happened to adoption of the metric system in the U.S.?
Since when do CDs skip?
What was the deal with Jimmy Carter and the killer rabbit?
Why was America named after Amerigo Vespucci?
Do you need a key to start an F-16?
Did Hebrew almost become the official U.S. language?
Did the astronauts survive the Challenger explosion long enough to realize their plight?
How do "night" rear view mirrors work?
Is the earth about to enter the Photon Belt, causing the end of life as we know it?
Did U.S. President Zachary Taylor die of eating cherries with milk on a warm day?
Was John Tyler never really president of the U.S.?
If you burp, fart, and sneeze at the same time, will you die?
Can some people extinguish streetlamps by means of their bodily emanations?
Did a flying saucer crash near Roswell, New Mexico in the 1940s? What's with this "alien autopsy" movie?
In the old Lone Ranger series, what did "kemosabe" mean?
Why is the action in old silent movies so fast?
In the old Lone Ranger series, what did "kemosabe" mean?
How do "human cannonballs" survive?
Are sword swallowers for real?
What's the story on the Grand Guignol, the original shock theater?
If Pluto is a dog, what is Goofy?
Where did the Grateful Dead get their name?
What's the origin of the myth that cats can suck the breath out of babies?
Did the "singing nun" commit suicide with her lesbian lover?
Where are all the dead pigeons?
Is there such a thing as a left-handed cat?
If rabbits don't chew constantly, will their teeth grow to incredible lengths, causing them to starve?
Is it possible for a chicken to live with its head cut off?
Why were dinosaurs so big?
Which end of the egg comes out of the chicken first?
Are there really such things as "hoop snakes"?
Why do lions appear on coats of arms even though Europe didn't have any?
How serious is squamous cell carcinoma?
Did cigarettes distributed to WWII GIs kill more men than died in battle?
Why do some dogs walk by moving both legs on one side of the body at the same time, while others use diagonal pairs?
Why did so many Native Americans die of European diseases but not vice versa?
Is red Fiestaware radioactive?
Why did doctors wear metal disks with holes in them on their heads?
Why is winter the season for colds, flu, etc.?
Are clove cigarettes 10 times worse than the regular kind?
Is talcum powder asbestos?
What's the story on the "toxic lady"?
Why are races always run in a counterclockwise direction?
In baseball, why do batters pound the plate with the bat?
Seven batters step up to the plate, the inning ends, no runs score. How?
Why can't pitchers hit?
How can I pick the winning number in the lottery?
What causes "ice cream headache"?
Why is a football called a pigskin?
Did medieval scholars argue over how many angels could dance on the head of a pin?
Will a squirt of WD-40 cure your creaking joints?
Why does the sun darken skin but lighten hair?
Will Transcendental Meditation enable you to levitate?
What's up with Dianetics/Scientology?
Why do Christians worship on Sunday when the Bible says the Sabbath is on Saturday?
What's the story on Freemasonry?
What's up with the "lost books of the Bible"?
Does any major religion not believe in life after death?
Who is St. Jude, who is always being thanked in classified ads?
Is misuse of Pine-Sol a federal crime?
What do the strange words at the top of paper bags mean?
What does the "chasing arrows" recycling code on plastic products mean?
If Ivory Soap is 99 and 44/100% pure, what's the other 56/100%?
Does speed reading training actually work?
Why are magazines dated ahead of the time they actually appear?
Do maps have "copyright traps" to permit detection of unauthorized copies?
Does the Swiss army really use the Swiss army knife?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Do cow and termite flatulence threaten the earth's atmosphere?
Why is the night sky dark?
Is time travel possible?
Do you age more quickly at the pole than than equator due to relativity?
Why do you blow on coffee to cool it, but on your hands to warm them? Plus: if veggies have no fat, why is veggie oil all fat?
How does one suck in a piece of spaghetti?
On the Fahrenheit scale, do 0 and 100 have any special significance?
Is there an official Olympic everything?
Why does the U.S. surgeon general wear a uniform?
Why are there 360 degrees in a circle?
Why does the Ku Klux Klan burn crosses?
Will tapping a pop can keep the carbonation from exploding on opening? Plus: why do we tap cigarettes?
What does YKK mean on zippers?
What do Scotsmen wear under their kilts?
Why are Indian eunuchs warned about unsafe sex?
If a tree falls in the woods, is there a sound?
Has anyone ever had sex in space?
Why are men supposed to wash their hands after urination? Plus: urine therapy!
What causes "piss shiver"?
How do I go about renouncing my U.S. citizenship?
What is perfect pitch, and what good is it?
What did Alice B. Toklas have to do with Alice B. Toklas brownies?
What do "drawn and quartered" and "keelhauling" mean?
What happens when you drive between two countries that drive on opposite sides of the road?
Can paper be folded in half seven times but never eight?
Why did Charles Manson think "Helter Skelter" was about a race war?
Was John Wayne a draft dodger?
What's the difference between a Looney Tune and a Merrie Melody?
What's the story on the female jazz musician who lived as a man?
What songs beat out "Johnny B. Goode" (#8) on the Billboard charts?
How do they make "punch" sounds in movies?
What's up with the strange end of country-rock pioneer Gram Parsons?
Is the dollar bill's eye-on-a-pyramid the symbol of a secret society?
What happened to 50-cent pieces?
Can I reuse the uncanceled stamps from my junk mail?
Are the Social Security trust funds a sham?
How come portraits on coins are in profile while those on bills are full face?
Were magnetic strips put in U.S. currency so the feds could track your money?
How do you get listed in the Social Register?
Why are moths attracted to bright lights?
Is honey really bee vomit?
Can trees live forever?
How does a fly land upside down on the ceiling?
If the locks on the Panama Canal were blown, would one ocean pour into the other?
How do they grow more seedless fruit?
Is it aerodynamically impossible for bumblebees to fly?
Do plants have ESP?
What's the purpose of daylight saving time?
If the groundhog sees its shadow Feb. 2, why does that mean six more weeks of winter?
When did the Age of Aquarius officially start?
Does a change in the weather make people's joints ache?
Do tornadoes only occur in North America?
What is "green flash" at sunset all about?
What does a cloud feel like to the touch?
Why was the millennium considered such a big deal?
Did whites ever give Native Americans blankets infected with smallpox?
Why is there supposed to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
Is the lost city of Atlantis at the bottom of a lake in North Dakota?  
Is it true a duck's quack won't echo? 
Did the black doctor who invented blood plasma die because white doctors wouldn't treat him?
In statues, does the number of feet the horse has off the ground indicate the fate of the rider? 
Who are the "black Irish"? 
Did Krups, Braun, and Mercedes-Benz make Nazi concentration camp ovens? Did Hitler name the Volkswagen?
Should you not throw rice at weddings because birds swallow it and explode?
Is it crazy to eat clay?
Do left-handers die young?
What causes ringing in your ears?
Is it really important to wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming?
How do "ear candles" work?  
During a physical, why does the doctor tap your knee with a hammer? 
Do fluorescent lights cause cataracts? 

More Classic Columns

Current Columns

Pub Date Headline
04-Jan-2008 When doctors go on strike does the death rate go down?
11-Jan-2008 Earth Mother: Has there ever been a true matriarchal culture?
18-Jan-2008 Pay for Play: Did the Romans issue sexually depictive tokens for use in foreign brothels?
25-Jan-2008 Unshiny day: Is there more sulfur in the air than in preindustrial times? Is this making silver tarnish faster than before?
01-Feb-2008 Do mice fear the scent of a cat? Do mice really love cheese? Why isn't there mouse flavor cat food?
08-Feb-2008 Would life insurance be paid out on someone executed for a crime? Can death row inmates get life insurance?
15-Feb-2008 Does giving sweets to kids produce a "sugar rush?"
22-Feb-2008 Are Teflon-coated pans a health risk to birds and humans?
29-Feb-2008 Is the body mass index (BMI) chart an accurate indicator of obesity?
07-Mar-2008 Do low-flush toilets actually save water? I blew my nose on toilet paper -- better to flush it or throw it in the trash can?
14-Mar-2008 What’s the deal with colloidal silver?
21-Mar-2008 What poisons can I safely take to build immunity to toxic substances? Does eating poison ivy build resistance to allergic reaction?
28-Mar-2008 Do fancy glasses improve the flavor of wine?
04-Apr-2008 Are electric cars really more energy efficient? Do "green" vehicles have a worse impact on the environment than a Hummer?
11-Apr-2008 What was the actual cause of death by crucifixion?
18-Apr-2008 Why is the bottom end of the music spectrum so boomy and annoying? Can anything be done to block the sound?
25-Apr-2008 Did all animal life originally have copper-based blood? Does your blood thicken or dilute in reaction to climate changes?
02-May-2008 What's the deal on vermiculite?
09-May-2008 Napoleon complex: How did the image of Napoleon get to be a stereotype of crazy? Did tin disease contribute to Napoleon's defeat in Russia?
16-May-2008 Can dogs get venereal disease? How does falling rain bounce off without causing injury?
23-May-2008 Does drinking gin make you mean? Can you get intoxicated quicker via alcohol enema?
30-May-2008 Why doesn't wood melt? Does it still cost less than one cent to mint a penny?
06-June-2008 It had to be ewe: Could sheep replace the lawn mower?
13-June-2008 We know how many people die annually from gunfire. How many are saved by defensive firearms use?
20-June-2008 Why are cars so prone to stalling over railroad tracks?
27-June-2008 Is chiropractic for real or just quackery?
2006 Column Index 2007 Column Index

Recent Special Reports (formerly Cecil's Mailbag)

How does copyright work? (Part 1)
How does copyright work? (Part 2)
How does copyright work? (Part 3)
How does copyright work? (Part 4)
Where do police get the people for lineups?
Why are craters always round?
Do bumblebees sting? Once or many times?
Who has the power to arrest the President?
What exactly is "gopher wood"?
Are a country's foreign embassies an extension of its territory?
What does it mean to be convicted in absentia?
How far can bullets travel when fired into water?
What was up with Andy Kaufman and Tony Clifton?
How do gun silencers work?
What does "possession is 9/10ths of the law" mean?
What's the origin of the movie director's pseudonym Alan Smithee?
Why do pilots say "roger" on the radio?
What happens if you confess to a crime after being found not guilty?
Can a sperm donor be forced to pay child support?
How is that the Constitution's "freedom of religion" clause prevents public religious displays?
Do spacecraft swing around planets to gain speed?
How often do informers collect reward money?
Does the U.S. government own my mailbox?
Why is there no Nobel Prize for music?
What is martial law?
In the old days, why did phone numbers have names like "Circle 8745"?
What casino games offer the best odds?
Can traditional Jews do no work at all on the Sabbath?
Straight Dope scoop: The truth about the boy with "two spiders living in his ear."
Why are the bees disappearing?
Are the Smurfs anti-Semitic Communists?
What's the origin of the question mark?
Has anybody really "sold" the Brooklyn Bridge?
Where do hamsters come from?
Who are the Gypsies?
What's up with "no copy blue"?
Why are banks opening so many branch offices?
Are giant sci-fi bugs physically possible?
Was there really a Nobel Prize winners' sperm bank?
Does massage work by getting rid of toxins?
Can spiders sucked into a vacuum survive?
Are male seahorses the ones who get pregnant?
Is head-butting for real?
What became of Moses's sons?
Where have all the fireflies gone?
Do the wrongfully imprisoned get compensation?
Is lightning really that dangerous to swimmers? Will my choice of bicycle get me struck by lightning?
Do condoms protect against STDs other than HIV? STD-wise, how risky is oral sex?
Can I legally prevent people from putting flyers under my door or on my windshield?
How did some crime fiction come to be described as "hard-boiled"?
Did anyone really ever get tied to railroad tracks?
What's the story on the curse of Macbeth?
Does sawing off a shotgun necessarily produce a "sawed-offshotgun"?
How did the Hatfield-McCoy feud end, anyway?
Why are they called "trailers" if they're shown before the movie?
Why is "six feet under" the standard depth for burial?
If dogs can get a dose of bug repellent that lasts a whole month, why can't humans?
Does NLP work? Is it the basis of Derren Brown's "mind control" act?
Where does that "1492/ocean blue" thing about Columbus come from? And what was Columbus's deal, anyway?
Did Lupe Vélez really drown in the toilet?
When you're sent to prison, what happens to your stuff? Why do some people get to settle their affairs?
Where do bugs go when it starts to rain? Why are mosquitoes active mainly around dusk?
When do baseballs get taken out of play?
What causes double rainbows? Why is the order of the colors reversed?
What's the legal basis for executive privilege?
How do you become a dual citizen?
Would a gun work in space?
Does the Mayan calendar predict the end of the world in 2012?
Why do athletes put that black stuff under their eyes?
How does the legal concept of self-defense work?
Does the collection of income tax violate the Thirteenth Amendment?
How do the mechanics of smell work?
How did Bob Crane die, anyway?
Was the secession of the Confederacy legal?  
How do you clean and cook a goose?  
Are TV courtroom-show judges really judges?
Did NASCAR really originate with moonshiners trying to outrun the authorities?  

Special Reports/Cecil's Mailbag Archive

Threadspotting

Scriptwriting: The Final Frontier.
A thread that measures up. (Submitted by vetbridge)
I think I've seen this movie before.
Outstanding in the field? Or just lost?
We're overdue for a cheesy Doper party.
Happy Birthday to you.
For immediate release:The pursuits of Happyness. (Submitted by twickster)
Generally speaking, everybody wants to know. (Submitted by Mahaloth)
And he was a Capricorn and ate organic food, right?
Pick your definition. (Submitted by Ellen Cherry)
And along came a spider.
From back in the day.Maybe way back.
Odd stuff that's all over the map.
Dopers report a revolting problem. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas)
Indiana Jones and the Old Days.(Submitted by FisherQueen)
Johnny learns the plane facts of life. (Submitted by Rico, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
You've read the rest, now here's the very best. (Submitted by Rico)
Making a Booty (Re)call. (Submitted by Cartooniverse)
History comes alive...and stays to chat. (Submitted by SpoilerVirgin, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Whatever happens, they're just wild about Harry. (Submitted by Shirley Ujest)
Macheteconomics.(Submitted by neowestdesign, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
Strippity-do-dah, zippity-ay! (Submitted by rico)
Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! May not be safe for work. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
One of these things is not like the other. (Submitted by DesertDog)
Bacon Bacon Bacon! (Submitted by scndlaw, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Oh WWN, we hardly knew ye.
The Over/Under on Toilet Paper. (Submitted by Encinitas, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Ever heard of windirstat?
This is a public service brought to youby the Too Much Tomatoes Advisory Board.
They grow up so fast. And so sneaky. (Submitted by Rico)
Doper makes good at being bad. (Submitted by a plethora of Dark and StormyDopers)
He came in peace . . . and pieces. (Submitted by Rico)
It is to laugh.Quote.
The adventures of Mr. Fixit. (Submitted by Musicat, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
Got them medieval washday blues.
Just another sad love song.
If you have to ask you can't afford it.
Two disks or not two disks, that is the question. NOTE:Strong language, may not be safe for work. (Submitted by Anaptyxis with an assist from Indistinguishable)
Cooking up a happy medium.(Submitted by MsWhatsit)
Oh spit! (Submitted by Cartooniverse)
Attica! Attica!
There's Teacher of the Year.And then there's these people. (Submitted by Morbo)
I didn't see it at the movies.
Seems to me I've seen this place before.
We wonder about the wonder drug.
It dices and it slices and it gathers dust.
Plate Tectonics of the Big Rock Candy Mountain. (Submitted by cards; tag written by billdo)
It's all about Eve. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by rico)
I'm the king of the world!The playground, anyway. (Submitted by Stranger On a Train)
Detailing, so to speak. NOTE:So not safe for work. (Submitted by Vlad/Igor)
What a surprise! (Classic Threadspotting submitted by MsWhatsit)
Welcome to fishspotting, dive right in. (Submitted by Musicat, who also wrote the tag, thank you very much!)
Picture this. (Submitted by a multitude of Dopers)
They won't warn you but we will. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Rico)
Call me Moby Dick.
Wow kids, wasn't that scary?
I'd give my left toe for a beer! (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Harmonious Discord)
Unclear on the concept? You could be a scriptwriter. (Submitted by Rico)
Look out, super genius crossing ahead. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas)
Dopers conspire to debunk conspiracies. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Tapioca Dextrin)
The Wizard of the Gridiron. (Submitted by Lute Skywatcher, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Groulestically speaking, it's beautimous. (Submitted by Rico, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
We meant to run this earlier but, um, we forgot. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by OtakuLoki)
Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees . . . and everybody else. NOTE: Sensitive subject, may not be safe for work. (Threadspotting submitted by Musicat, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
You can file this under "F" for funny . . . or "W" for . . .well, you'll see. (Threadspotting submitted by Deep Fried, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
Ask a hairy question, get a hair-raising answer. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by Tastes of Chocolate)
Nintend-no. (Submitted by Rico, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Eye see. NOTE: Potentially ooky for the sensitive. (Submitted by sofaspud)
Cecil, we hardly know ye. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by Kythereia)
Imagine that.(Submitted by Rico)
Help, I'm falling and I (probably) can't get up. (Submitted by ZipperJJ)
Not the Good Ship Lollipop, matey. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by lrm_)
Just chuck it in the whatchamacallit. (Submitted by twickster)
A thread bound to offend most everyone. Let's bury our differences. NOTE: Stereotyping, slurs, bad language, DTBH.. (Submitted by Norinew)
Dopers find the damndest things. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by Miamouse)
Let's drink to the end of Ignorance. (Submitted by eleanorigby)
It's what's for Thanksgiving dinner. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
It's beginning to work a lot like Christmas. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Rico)
Welcome to "This Old Cable Installation." Bring your own coffee. (Submitted by Tastes of Chocolate)
Proof of the old saying "If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you trouble." (Submitted by Lynn Bodoni)
Oh geez, gesundheit! (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by tygerdralion)
Asking the musical question. (Submitted by Rico)
Teach your children well. (Submitted by Zebra, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Call it the infinite Doper theorem. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by Millit the Frail)
There are no words to describe this thread. Yet. (Submitted by Musicat)
Remember Santa riding the razor? Here's more of the same. (Submitted by Desert Dog)
It's a marshmallow world in the winter when the cars are all covered in snow. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by noclueboy)
Why they call it "wild" salmon. (Submitted by Winston Smith)
Thanks for clearing that up for us. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas)
No one really ever forgets your first time. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Rico, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Marley was dead to begin with. It was my job to find out how he got that way.
He had a word with the boss. (Submitted by Bill Manson)
It was a three hour cruise to nowhere. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by Phoebestar)
Plane? Treadmill? Wimps. (Submitted by Rico, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
But that's not all!
He must of heard it through the grapevine. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by DesertDog)
At the least there's more brains to go around.
Tooting our own horn in a special kind of way.
America, the land of the snappy slogan. (Classic Threadspotting originally submitted by JadeDragon)
Nuts! NOTE: May be upsetting to sensitive types, politically incorrect references.
Ah, the Hedgehog, my boy. NOTE: May not be safe for work, adult situations.
Snow job.
In 1492, Columbus . . . did what?
Will he make it? Bet not.
He sleeps with the fishes. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Rico) NOTE: May not be safe for work..
On this day in history. For about 20 minutes. (Submitted by Rick)
Good night, sweet prince. (Posturpedick.) Note: Mature language. (Submitted by Erin)
Truly a platform we can stand on. (Submitted by Deep Fried, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Can you name that tune?
For David Simmons.
Recipe for disaster. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Rico)
Edifice wrecks. (Submitted by JoseB)
I has can cheeseburger. (Submitted by Rico)
It's positively wangalicious! NOTE: In questionable taste. (Classic Wangspotting submitted by Rico)
You heard it here first. (Submitted by brujaja)
The Strange Case of Mr. Happy. (Submitted by Rico)
Got them expatriate can't find it here blues.
It seems to me I've read this book before.
Check out our new forum "The Game Room."
When it all went Bang.
Didn't I read about that in a book?
It's a (people) programming thing.
USB, baby! (Submitted by Ponderoid, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
You can have my hamster when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands. (Submitted by cmcclana)
Why the computer department is not on the Chicago Reader tour. (Submitted by Billdo)
Just say Nanaimo.
In spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of SATAN! (Submitted by Rico)
It's the Code Red Special at the Coronary Cafe. (Submitted by Rico)
Love means never having to say Klaatu Barada Nikto. (Classic Threadspotting submitted by Rico)
I want candy . . . for the holidays.
Eye see.
To Sir with love. (Submitted by Ponderoid)
There's an egg about to go bad in the refrigerator . . . and there it goes.
The Joy of Scritches. (Submitted by Ponderoid)
Assuming, just for the sake of argument, that the bear is on roller skates. (Submitted by DesertDog)
Here's your plane, what's your hurry? (Submitted by Cluricaun)
Will he bite off more than he can chew? (Submitted by Merlin Morris)
A meeting of the mind -- and other parts. (Submitted by Ivylass)
Keeping your pooch in the pink. (Submitted by Ellen Cherry, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
It's love and money and sex and power and global implications. So not safe for work. (Submitted by essell)
Nights of the Round Table -- and pictures to prove it.
Because the very best gift you can give a child -- or yourself -- is a book.
Have you seen the light? (Submitted by Annie-Xmas, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Apparently the zombie threat is worse than we realized.
Unique meat is a treat.
I love candy.
Our favorite mini-movies.
Dopers toot their own horn. (Submitted by Ellen Cherry, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Sing along with Yoda. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
In love in vein. (Submitted by Emcinitas)  
Fluffy be Thy name. (Submitted by Mama Zappa, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Seals just wanna have fun.  Note:  Adult subject matter, may not be safe for work (Submitted by samclem) 
What we loves about our loves. (Submitted by Stauderhorse) 
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.  And so are you. 
Have you seen the light . . . switch? Suggestive, may not be safe for work. (Submitted by Annie-Xmas, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)  
Well, he does swing through the trees. Suggestive, may not be safe for work.  
Faster than the speed of . . . smell.
It's the gold standard in home decor. (Submitted by Bill Manson)  
Kicking it so you represent, yo! (Submitted by Ellen Cherry)
Heel, boy! (Submitted by Rico)  
But what is hip?  And is it cool? 
You know it when you see it.
Here's a debate you may find enlightening.
Please recycle this thread when you're done with it.
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . . continuity problems. (Submitted by The Scrivener, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)  
Keep your hat on.
Don't be a boob. (Submitted by Mahaloth, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)  
Oh my, look at the time.
I am lion, hear me roar. (Submitted by Desert Dog, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
Car in the water, Dopers to the rescue!  
COOKIES! 
Food so good it hurts. 
Sort of like Underroos, only older.

Threadspottings Archive

Weird Earl's

http://doggles.com/ Fashion is going to the dogs. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://simon.supermegaactionplus.com/beans.html Beans, beans, the screaming fruit.(Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/Home.html Why does she stay with him?Beats me! NOTE: Adult themes, NSFW (especially if you work at a church), may be upsetting. (Submitted by overclockedkarma)
http://c6.org/toogle/ A picture worth a thousand words, give or take. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf Let a thousand flowers bloom. (Click and drag.) (Submitted by Shannon Murphy)
http://milliondollarhomepage.com/ Mega-pixel. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www29.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859 Now you know.(Submitted by Ben Gilbers)
http://iacs5.ucsd.edu/~pbang/dance_monkeys.htm Hey, hey, we're the monkeys. NOTE: May be disturbing. Probably NSFW.. (Submitted by Monkey Mule, one of the nicer monkeys.)
http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/sexdoll/ Do it yourself, your self. NOTE: Absolutely NSFW. Not tested for safety or anything else, proceed at your own risk.. (Submitted by Nec)
http://www.getgrandpasfbifile.com/ Want your complete family history? Ask the experts. (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://www.trainupachild.com/ Batteries and miracles not included. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://cache.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/iProduct.gif Because you'll ibuy anything. (Submitted by Billy Rubin)
http://www.johnjayharper.com/thirdeye.htm Is that your third eye blinking or are you just happy to see me?
http://opko.laurea.fi/~0600798/zombie/home.html When it comes to zombies you can't be too prepared. (Submitted by overclockedkarma)
http://www.shoe-lacing.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm One, two (trillion), tie your shoe.(Submitted by pdesmond)
http://www.fadetoblack.com/consumerreport/religion/ Required reading for anyone in doubt.
http://www.playcornhole.org/president.shtml And you thought horseshoes was a corny game. (Submitted by miamouse)
http://www.miniclip.com/games/fireworks/en/ Set off some fireworks at home.
http://www.lightningdrink.com/ Must be holy water -- or maybe lightning in a bottle. (Submitted by Loren Hudziak)
http://www.bcm-law.com/Bio/MichaelBrandow.asp? Need an attorney? Need one bad? Here you go. (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://tinyurl.com/33mvfg It drives like a tank. (Submitted by Wind_Dave)
http://www.skortman.com/kiltpage1.htm Who wears short skorts? (Submitted by Barry Rein)
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/By the signs shall ye know them. (Submitted by Paul Hope)
http://www.willitblend.com/ It's a different kind of mashup. (Submitted by Briana Mordick)
http://www.pimpmylift.ca/ For the baddest ride in the warehouse. (Submitted by BlindBoyGrunt)
http://www.nosepouch.com/ This really blows. (Submitted by Ceejaytee)
http://www.wmxp.com/the-middle-of-the-internet.html You are HERE. (Submitted by Chris)
http://simpsonizeme.com/ You look like you live in Springfield. (Submitted by Shannon Murphy)
http://tinyurl.com/36awd You can have my Zinfandel when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. (Submitted by BonzoGal who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.sysadminday.com/ Put this on your calendar now. (Submitted by John L. Cofer)
http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/ See places all over the map. (Submitted by user_hostile)
http://www.instructables.com/ Are you instructable?Roll up a frying pan and see for yourself.
http://www.velociraptors.info/ Look up in the sky!It's a bird, it's a plane . . . oh no! (Submitted by Ceejaytee)
http://karmaconsolidation.com/ What goes around can come around all at once. (Submitted by hoopyfrood, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.jkwebplay.com/paulsblog/engineer/ Engineered for real ultimate power! (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.guimp.com/It's a little weird. (Submitted by FrankR)
http://tinyurl.com/27v8dp Talk about your warm fuzzies. (Submitted by Terey)
http://www.poopreport.com/ It's more crap on the internet. (Submitted by Rico)
http://www.cleanishappy.com/ Kiss my happy antiseptic butt. NOTE: May not be safe for work.. (Submitted by twistedechoes)
http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php Demotivate yourself. (Submitted by Rico)
http://www.poopthebook.com/ Bathroom reading. (Submitted by tydirium)
http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2296 Cover your boo-boo in flash. (Submitted by tofer17)
http://www.lifetechnology.org/teslashield.htm It's Tezlarific! (Submitted by John Turner)
http://www.iamuniversity.ch/-I-AM-University- "I am."You bet. (Submitted by cwniles)
http://www.everybody-dies.com/ Unhappy ending guaranteed. (Submitted by User_Hostile)
http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/problem_detail.asp?SDID=281:1672 Scared stiff? (Submitted by hellpop, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://nosoproject.com/ Let's schedule a not get together. (Submitted by hoopyfrood.)
http://www.conezone.info/index.asp Cone-shaped for your pleasure. NOTE: NSFW. (Submitted by veglandia)
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11727.html Just the thing for Octoberfest.(Submitted by Billy Rubin)
http://www.poisontorturedinusa.com/ Have some poison, WTH! (Submitted by ason)
http://www.43folders.com/2004/09/03/introducing-the-hipster-pda/ Batteries not included. (Submitted by John L. Cofer)
http://www.herorat.org/ Did you ever know that you're my hero, you rat? (Thanks to XaMcQ)
http://lolcode.com/ IM ON UR PUTER CODIN 1337 HAX (Thanks to hoopyfrood, who also wrote the tag, kthxbye)
http://www.142857.com Number please. Also see here. (Thanks to tofer17)
http://tinyurl.com/2spr69 Votecasting. (Submitted by James Sullivan)
http://www.ediblearrangements.com/ A flower by any other name would taste as sweet! (Submitted by John L. Cofer, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.nobodyhere.com/toren.hier Follow the bouncing bear. (Submitted by FrankR)
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/ciencia/ciencia_adn08.htm Aliens, they're everywhere. (Submitted by Patrick Carr)
http://edition.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/presidential.pong/ See your candidate raising a racket. (Submitted by Gezellig, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.uniqlo.jp/uniqlock/ And now it's time for "WTH." (Submitted by tofer17)
http://objectiveministries.org/creation/projectpterosaur.html Jesus loves all the little pterosaureses of the world. (Submitted by calderon)
http://lolsecretz.blogspot.com/ I has a secret. (Submitted by Billy Rubin)
http://www.divulgence.net/ We're tilting! An old friend sets us straight. (Submitted by Andrew Eddinger)
http://www.thatsrevolting.com We couldn't have said it better ourselves. Starring Florence Henderson and a cast of millions! (Submitted by howilou)
http://www.worldtoilet.org/ People who really give a crap. (Submitted by MontereyGo)
http://www.dedge.com/flash/hangman/hangman.swf Hang around for a spell. (Submitted by Shannon Murphy, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.fridgewatcher.com/ Is your refrigerator running? Are you sure? (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.freerice.com/index.php Victualize the world. (Submitted by nd_n8)
http://www.rottenneighbor.com/ Good online sites make rotten neighbors. (Submitted by Billy Rubin)
http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/ Paranoia is just good thinking. And sometimes good research. (Submitted by Loren Hudziak)
http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/ The site so good we had to come back: Hey Kidz! (Submitted by Andrew Eddinger)
http://tinyurl.com/2px4dd Stop domestic violence with a Kiss. (Submitted by pfannstiel)
http://www.edheads.org/activities/hip2/swf/ Get hip to the goofy game for dopey doctors. (Submitted by ThirtySevnInARow)
http://www.playerappreciate.com/pimphandle.asp For Mac Daddies only! (Submitted by Egarnick, who also write the tag)
http://www.shoulddothis.com/ Just saying. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.paranormalrestrainingorders.com/ Are you a victim of the paranormal? We can help. (Submitted by kmacgowan)
http://www.theelvisisalivemuseum.com/home.htm Apparently Elvis is still the King. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://sniggle.net/ There's a sniggling suspicion something weird is going on here. (Submitted by chuo_hs, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
http://www.virtualstapler.com/default.asp No virtual desktop is complete without it! (Submitted by crunch704)
http://www.headlesshistoricals.com/ Dolls to lose your head over. NOTE: Not suitable for children or sensitive people. (Submitted by Will Repair)
http://www.deathswitch.com/ Have no life? Here's the service for you. (Submitted by hoopyfrood, who also helped with the tag, thanks)
http://www.kerrychristensen.com/yodelovers/index.html Lay-ee-odl-lay-ee-odl-ohmygod. (Submitted by corey tibbits)
http://needies.com/index.html They really really need you. (Submitted by purplehorseshoe)
http://www.onecoldhand.com/ Missing a glove? They'll lend a hand. (Submitted by onebookworm)
http://www.dianamystery.com/ Next on our hit parade Morrissey sings "WTH?" (Submitted by dp1150)
http://kittywigs.com/ It could be a gift from Santa Claws. (Submitted by Maya Vincelli)
http://www.shipoffools.com/kitschmas/index.html We wish you a Merry Kitschmas. (Submitted by Anthrax2525)
http://www.crimescene.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=47 Whoever said crime does not pay doesn't shop here. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://911bio-med.com/ It's a real medical show. (Submitted by Sleel)
http://platewire.com/ Postcards from the road. (Thanks to Jillgat and please drive carefully)
http://www.coverpop.com/wheeloflunch/ Let's do lunch. (Submitted by Genevieve)
http://www.nstorm.com/And now 'tis the season for Elf Bowling. (Submitted by some fat guy in a funky red suit)
http://www.misspoppy.com/ Shop with me, Jesus. (Submitted by Billy Rubin)
http://www.idos.com/Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven. (Submitted by Chris Vozeh)
http://www.travelpod.com/traveler-iqCan you find it on the map? (Submitted by Shannon Murphy)
http://lunchballz.com/When you don't want a square meal. (Submitted by Ben Gilbers)
http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/ You versus curtain climbers. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.tatuagemdaboa.com.br/ Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. NOTE: May not be safe for work, adult situations.. (Submitted by Jillgat)
http://www.urbandictionary.com/ Say whut? NOTE: May not be safe for work, adult wordage, potentially offensive language.. (Submitted by Shannon Murphy, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.mensup.fr/usbwine/usbwine.swf A glass of wine anytime, those clever French. (Submitted by Craig Shields)
http://dickipedia.org/index.php?More dicks than you can shake a stick at. NOTE: May not be safe for work, cynical, critical, mean spirited, dick jokes. (Submitted by vetbridge)
http://www.gemueseorchester.org/ Make me a salad, play me a song. (Submitted by a veritable harvest of vegetarians and music fans)
http://www.hassleme.co.uk/ Nag, nag, nag . . . please.
http://www.bumpernuts.com/ When a gun rack is not enough. (Submitted by jabrust) NOTE: May not be safe for work.
http://poplarcreekchurch.homestead.com/ They've got a sleeper hold on Satan. (Submitted by kcturner)
http://www.redyak.com/video/Canterbury/CanterburyRap.htmChaucer gets down with it. (Submitted by Kirk Anderson, who also helped with the tag, thanks!)
http://www.warehouse23.com/basement/box/index.html?level=1 Where the odd sock and that antigravity ray gun end up. (Submitted by Corner Case, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.petercallesen.com/index.html Origa-ohmy. (Submitted by Keith, that clever cutup)
http://in-souls.com/ Bless my sole. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.jesuspets.com/Home.aspx Come unto me and be fed. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://tinyurl.com/3cw6tp He SINGS! (Submitted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.dc.state.fl.us/oth/vtour/deathrow.html Welcome to the Graybar Hotel. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://www.esolutionsdata.com/ There's lies, damn lies, and these guys. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://www.fakebuddy.com/ No buddy quite so true. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://www.itendedbadly.com It started on Valentine Day . . . and ended badly. (Submitted by newboxcrayons)
http://www.moanmyip.com/ It's where you're coming from, baby. NOTE: Absolutely not safe for work. (Submitted by Wakamoo)
http://www.unphotographable.com/archives.html Sometimes it's the thousand words. (Submitted by hoopyfrood)
http://www.animalmakers.com/index2.php Animal House. (Batteries not included.) (Submitted by Diane)
http://www.semenex.com/home.html For those with a taste for love.NOTE: So not safe for work. (Submitted by SkilesB)
http://www.pricasso.com/ He graduated from fingerpainting into a larger medium.NOTE: Not safe for work. (Submitted by contrapuntal)
http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/319/5865/905b#dance Dancing with the Stars. (Submitted by Beth R., who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.wackyinventions.com/ It seemed like a good idea at the time. (Submitted by Harmonious Discord)
www.goblindefensefund.org Equal rights for goblins -- no justice, no peace! (Submitted by bibadoo)
http://www.truckspills.com/ It was just after dark when the truck started down the hill that leads into Scranton, Pennsylvania . . . (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://www.sr.se/cgi-bin/Src/sing/sing.asp?key=QQJ8HOH8 It's the biggest mashup of all time. (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://www.zubbles.com/index.aspI'm forever blowing zubbles. (Submitted by kdeus)
http://tinyurl.com/2vy5b5Vote for your favorite Peeps show. (Thanks to Larasaurus)
http://www.kyokyo-u.ac.jp/youkyou/4/english4.htm The instructions are as clear as mud. (Submitted by Sock of Doom)
http://www.dothetest.co.uk/Be aware, dancing bear. (Submitted by Shannon Murphy)
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/95/Whether Turbo or Retro, every operation must be encabulated. (Thanks to Billy Rubin and the host of engineers who keep America's frammistans from being snarfled)
http://bankimplode.com/When good banks go bad. (Submitted by hoopyfrood, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.thrivingoffice.com/Sound busy, the boss is coming. (Submitted by newboxcrayons, who also helped write the tag, thanks!)
http://www.topless-sandal.com/ Go naked! (Safe for work.). (Submitted by Monty, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.poop-freeze.com/Because you can never have enough frosted poop. (Not available in Europe.) (Submitted by Lale David)
http://www.implosionworld.com/gallery.htm Blowed up real good! (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://www.lyrster.com/ Name that tune! (Submitted by pdesmond, who also wrote the tag, thanks!)
http://www.nomoreabandonedcarts.com/ Meet Liberty Fillmore, a man with A Cause. (Submitted by Billy Rubin)
http://findyourgeek.com/index.php I loves me some Geek. (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://www.fakeproject.com/you_are_not_dead/ BTW, you are not dead. (Submitted by pdesmond)
http://ww2.zombieinitiative.org/ Be prepared! (Submitted by pdesmond)<